Your beloved mother dies suddenly. You never expected her to die in the prime of her life. Before the funeral rites are over, you get a letter from your employer terminating your services. While you are wondering what to do, your house is robbed.
All the events take place when your daughter is going through a divorce and recovering from an illness. When pressure mounts like this, you become a prime candidate for a nervous breakdown. You do not know what to do in such a crisis.
Dr. Morton Silverman of the US National Institute of Mental Health said, “Everyone at some point of life may find themselves in a situation that could result in symptoms of mental dysfunction.” In such a crisis, even common physical illnesses can precipitate mental problems. According to Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California at Los AngelesMilton Greenblatt, “Medical disease is accompanied by emotional difficulty in about 60 to 70 percent of cases. We’ve all at risk to some extent. We’re all trying to keep our heads above water.”
Crises are part of life. If you have never faced a crisis, you have not grown up. Growth means you learn something new every day. A crisis is something like a storm that comes suddenly without warning. You have no power to halt it. Similarly, you are powerless when a crisis comes up in life. As Osho once said, do not worry about the crisis, dance. After a storm, there will be a period of silence and happiness. When your crisis is over, you will feel relieved. Remember, suffering is a grace. If you can take it in the right spirit, it will become a stepping stone to happiness.
Take responsibility
In a crisis, we seek advice from someone who may not have undergone any crisis. It is better to decide on your own because it is your life that is in danger. When you take responsibility to solve your problem, you begin to grow. Mental health experts say we should all learn a little bit of “psychological first aid.” It will help you to keep your balance in a crisis. Before seeking professional help, such first aid can cushion the fall and make recovery speedier. Even if you get professional advice, it is up to you to pull yourself back from the crisis.
In developed countries, there are many self-help groups to lend their support to people in distress. They meet the affected people and discuss life-enhancing psychological techniques that can be useful to everyone. Even in Sri Lanka, there are similar voluntary organisations, such as Sumithrayo to help people in distress. Recovery Inc. in Chicago, United States is backed by 1,000 support groups.
They train people to function normally despite fears and nervous symptoms. Grow Inc. in Australia encourages people suffering from mental breakdowns. It has mutual support groups in seven countries. Emotions Anonymous International affiliated to Alcoholic Anonymous has adapted a 12-step program for use with people who have emotional problems.
According toPsychology Professor at U.C.L.A. Gary Emery, going crazy for most people is not a clinically definable disease. It is an experience of being out of control. Self-help groups show people how to develop the ability to withstand violent crises of anxiety, anger or depression. According to a leading psychologist, in all mental disturbances, you lose your balance because you tend to magnify something so much that your feelings throw your thinking and behaviour into a chaotic situation. A sensible person can learn how to handle such a situation.
Going crazy
At times, some of us feel that we are going crazy. When you get such a feeling, relax your muscles and change your thoughts. After relaxing your muscles do some gardening or go for a walk. You can read a good novel or a poem to change your thoughts. Doing crossword puzzles will also stimulate your brain. When your mind is fully occupied in something profitable, you will not get negative feelings. When your mind is at ease, you can easily calm down.
When you calm down, it is the ideal time to analyse your problem. Even if you fail to control your feelings, you will be able to master your thoughts. Do not worry about distressing symptoms because they are not dangerous. Always remember that your feelings are not facts. The next step is to function as a normal human being despite negative symptoms. If you boldly face up to distressing situations, your stress will disappear. Remain active when you are awake and do not brood over missed opportunities.
Headaches are normal symptoms of stress. They will not last long. If you are unable to sleep, just lie down without allowing negative thoughts to take the upper hand. Lapsing into self-pity will lead you nowhere. Do not blame others for your situation. Think like a normal human being without indulging in negative emotions. You do not have to worry about the mistakes you have made in life. We all make mistakes which are temporary failures. Give yourself credit for your achievements, however, small they may be.
Know the cause
In a life-threatening crisis, try to find out what is troubling you. When you know the cause, a solution is easy to find. Many people break down and cry. Crying is good to release negative emotions, but have courage to solve your problem. Sometimes your worries are imaginary. You will worry over the examination results before they are released. Even if you fail in an examination, it is not the end of the world. I have failed in many examinations. Every time I failed, I started doing something new. That is the only way to banish negative feelings.
In a crisis, go by what you know rather than what you feel. The things you are worrying about may not be true. Or they may be a distorted version of the reality. Never entertain the feeling that life is not worth living. Life is a gift and do not throw it away like trash.
Some people live in the past and others live in the future. Avoid both extremes. Live in the present and enjoy whatever life gives you. Love yourself, love others and reach out to help someone in need. The world is such a wonderful place that you can enjoy your life while helping others to enjoy theirs.
Always remember that you are part of the human race. Whatever is troubling you is something that happens to others as well. You are not the only person who is subject to grief, anxiety or depression. Maintain your emotional health at any cost.