I wish to extend an open invitation to our parliamentarians to enjoy the fun of riding by bus. It is so much fun, you know, I feel sorry for them who do not have the privilege to travel by bus. I assure them that they will really enjoy the trip if they get into the bus in the morning or in the evening.
For the MPs, here are some previews of the fun awaiting you when you join me in the bus trip.
1.First of all you will have rare opportunity of meeting this guy – the bus conductor. No one can beat him in crowd control. His slogan ‘passata yanna’ or issarata yanna’ keeps all the passenger spell bound and all these well-dressed gentlemen obey him without any reservation. You can learn this trick when you have to face the election meetings. Crowd control at its best!
2.He will make people stand in three rows in between the seats. Some gentlemen seem to be really enjoying this ‘togetherness’ enforced by the bus conductor and obey him fully. Where in the world you will see packing standing passengers into three rows in a bus? Bravo conductors!
3.You will also see him getting inside the bus from the front door and squeeze his way through the standing crowds and then get down again from the back door in no time. He will do it at least ten times within the halts. He won’t care for anybody: well clad gentlemen or ladies. He will rub over them and make his way through the crowded bus many times. Once a Chinese tourist asked him “Are you a monkey – running from front to back all the time?” His answer is the usual Sri Lankan smile. (After all we are a people with a good smile – good or bad.) Isn’t it enjoyable?
4.If you are unfortunate to get a seat in the bus, suddenly you will feel a big weight on your shoulder. Take it easy, it’s only the bus conductor resting on your shoulder for a while when he is collecting the money from the other passenger or issuing ticket.
5.The other fun you will enjoy is getting a ticket for Rs. 50 when your fare is only Rs. 20. So much generosity! Another way of breaking the rules – and you parliamentarians are much familiar with the art of breaking the laws. What a farce in issuing the tickets. Valueless and unauthentic tickets.
6. Suddenly you will see him wearing his worn out-frayed dirty over-shirt. That shows how smart he is. He wants to fool the bus-inspectors-crew who will be waiting to the check his books. All of a sudden he is a law abiding citizen wearing his uniform shirt to comply with the regulation. Is it not a real fun riding the bus.
7. The driver takes everything in a different way. Honking the horn persistently is an art he has mastered to frighten the bike riders and other small vehicles. He makes a lot of noise with the horn as well as the woofer fitted in the bus.
8. Be peaceful and never try to answer a phone call while you are in the bus. The songs will be played in full volume; you can never answer the phone. Forget about being productive. Then who wants to answer the phone? Paradoxical songs. The lamentation of the jilted lover is the audio theme and the video is some half naked girls dancing happily for something nothing to do with the audio theme. Nowhere in the world will you see so many lamentation mixed with happy visuals. Noise pollution at its best – we are a paradise nation.
9. By the way, are our Sri Lankan women so unfaithful to their lovers that they leave them all the time half the way and make them so sad? Why do men like such sad songs all the time?
10. You will also see another funny enjoyment. Women standing and men sitting long. So much of a sense of equality – men will hardly give the seat even if an old woman is standing with difficulty. Cheers for Sri Lankan men for their sense of equality.
11. When the time comes to get down, be prepared for the eventual. If you are lucky enough to land at the bus halt, thank God. But most of the time the drivers will stop at the middle of the road and give you the chance to prove your athletic skill in avoiding an accident. You know it is a challenge to get down from the bus unhurt.
12. I am sure if you take this ride, you will give up your expensive luxury vehicles and enjoy the real ride. After all you are experts in taking people for a ride. Why not join me for a bus ride.
- Zaid Ali
Renting houses and apartments
Urgent attention is needed by the authorities to implement a package of new rules and regulations on renting houses and apartments.
Renting houses and apartments has been turned into a scam in this country. Most of the landlords don’t wish to make a legal agreement for the funds they receive from the tenant. Also, there are a number of house brokers involved in this, to fleece the people looking for houses.
Due to the lack of an agreement, the landlords have the right to terminate the tenants’ occupation with a short notice, and go in for bigger rent payers. The lack of good living standards, high rates on houses with poor facilities, low standard houses, illegal electrical wiring, etc. must be taken into account to help maintain healthy and safe regulations.
Suppiah Aravindanathan
Colombo 6.
Your View...
Dear reader, the Sunday Observer welcomes your letters. Letters should be brief, legible and contain the name, address and contact number of the writer. Mail your letters to: ‘Letters’, The Sunday Observer, 35, D.R.Wijewardene Mawatha, Colombo 10. Email: [email protected]
Handwritten copies should be duly signed.