Some lives are influenced by the mythology of poor boys and girls who succeed through hard work and self-denial. They hold tight to the bird in hand (a sparrow, may be) though the one in the bush, a peacock, is there for the taking. They save for a rainy day, and lose the chance to enjoy the sun.
Dinesh and Kanthi lived in a house in a low-cost housing scheme, where everyone around were always short of cash. They economised in their food bills and tried to cut down other expenses, but, planned home improvements. Before moving on to a better neighbourhood, most of them acquired a room or two with an additional bathroom, except Dinesh and Kanthi. The parents of three children, they dreamed of a second bathroom, but never seemed to be able to afford it.What they did afford, however, were regular holidays: whale watching, hiking in the Horton Plains, and even a 7-day trip to Singapore/Malaysia and Thailand, etc. Neighbours thought they were crazy.
I met Dinesh recently. The kids are scattered now, but he and Kanthi still lived in the old neighbourhood , in the same old house, he said. “We had a tough going for years,” he said, “but last week they came back for our wedding anniversary. All of them said, they would never forget those terrific holidays. Do you suppose they would ever remember a new porch or a new bathroom?’
Dinesh and Kanthi discovered early, a life-enhancing secret: decide what’s really important to them and go for that, even if the cost was out of line. If what you want most is a house with rose bushes in the backyard, you might give up the idea of going for a new car. But, if driving an SUV is your idea of happiness, you might settle for a small apartment. It’s simply a matter of choosing your priorities.
Two ways
A limited income can be managed in two ways: you can be sensible, carefully allocating funds for food, clothing, transportation and rent; or you could be impulsive. If your broken-down station wagon is always hitched to a distant star, the best course may be calculated extravagance, i.e.cutting down in areas not important, while splashing out on things that make you feel good.
Some lives are influenced by the mythology of poor boys and girls who succeed through hard work and self-denial. They hold tight to the bird in hand (a sparrow, may be) though the one in the bush, a peacock, is there for the taking. They save for a rainy day, and lose the chance to enjoy the sun.
Experience
I know a couple who, even in their twenties, were obsessed by security.
While their contemporaries were building families, Selvi and Yoga were building equity. By the time they felt secure enough to start a family, Selvi was 39. For three years now she’s been trying to get pregnant. An extreme case? Sure, but it illustrates a truth. If you really want something, if you believe that a baby, a trip or a new car will enrich your life, you cannot afford not to have it.
When I was young, our family had to go through difficult times, which lasted a couple of years. We had to economize in everything. One day, while window shopping at Cargills, I saw a beautiful wristwatch, and longed to possess it. It was on sale at a give-away price. I asked my parents who were with me whether I could have it. Mother sighed. But, father said, “Let him have it. Will you ever be able to buy happiness for him so cheaply?” Even then, I knew that the money could have purchased us three days’ food.. Father was right. I used the watch for over two decades.
When I consider those friends who seem happiest, I’m struck by how often their attitude toward spending seem distorted. The Weerasuriya family has no car, but last year they vacationed in Europe for 10 days. Ganesh, driving his wife and three children across the country on a tight budget, stopped for tea one evening, at a 5-star Hotel.
“The experience was an out-of-this world one,” his wife recalls. “A string quartet played in the dining room. There were little iced cakes and finger bowls with rose petals floating in fragrant water. It took two days of economized meals to make up for that extravagance. But, the children have forgotten how pinched we were, instead, they remember the tea they enjoyed at the 5-star Hotel.”
Dream
Suppose it’s not just a matter of giving up X for Y. What if you simply can’t pay for what you want?
A truly important dream carries within it energy for its realization. I can think of another friend whose only child showed early signs of musical talent. At three, Janith was picking up tunes by ear and making songs on his organ. His parents were determined to give him the best lessons available - even though it meant driving 40 miles to Colombo. Mother took an evening job in the library; father, a teacher, set up a tutoring service in his home.
Friends asked,“Why knock yourself out to provide master teachers for a baby?”
Within three years, the child’s lessons were given free of charge, by his delighted instructors.
Today, at 17, Janith has played with some of our best orchestras and been offered scholarships at a College in US to study music further. Would all this have happened if his parents had settled for more affordable lessons?
Janith’s mother thinks not. She says, “Janith has been excited by our efforts and been inspired from the beginning.”
Lesson
I think this illustrates the importance of acting as if money were a secondary concern, which, in a sense, it is. Living beyond one’s means in this sense, is not living beyond one’s income, but in accordance with the highest vision of oneself.
Decide what makes you happy and have that. Even though you scrape through life on a shoe-string budget, it may be right for you to send your child to a sports camp or have your teeth capped. The indulgence, luxury, extravagance, call it whatever you like, may be all out of proportion to the rest of your life. So much the better. It will improve your sense of self and the temper of your life.