[Continued from last week…]
Had this crazy idea one day. Thought it was gutsy, but then I might get fired or thought of as a slut. I thought of writing my phone number on the bill. I saw it in a movie once. That’s where I got the idea from. A waitress writes her number. Just the number on the bill when she gives the bill to this regular customer she really likes.
She does it because he looks the shy type who seems to like her as well but doesn’t have the guts to ask her out. So she makes the first move and does that surprising thing of giving her phone number to him written on the bill. It works by the way. It works out well. But what will this guy think? Will he think I’m a slut desperate to ‘get jiggy’ with him? Let’s be realistic.
If I give him my number on a napkin when bringing his order or write it on the bill when giving him his bill he’s not going to have romantic feelings for me just like that right? Or at least that doesn’t seem real. Right? No, I don’t think that he’s going to think of me as anything more than just a slut?
That is the only thing he’s going to think of me. Or what if the whole thing is quite an ego boost for him? For him to fan his ego and just nothing more? That’s worse! That is really so much worse! Or then, there is even worse yet. What if he reports me to the boss?
That would be when I make myself a cyanide latte and say ‘goodnight everybody’. No saying which outcome could happen. So glad I didn’t try to pass him my number. Either way it will just be a disaster.
Social media
He’s close to my age. I know his age, which school he went to, his closest friends since childhood, the educational qualifications he has. Yes, it’s all on social media. I follow all his closest friends on social media too.
They all have Facebook accounts so I follow then on FB as well. They are all married. They come here too, and interestingly enough they usually seem to come here with him. For late night coffees. Those are late evening visits. After dinner, coffee visits. From all his friends he is the only bachelor. The only ‘singleton’.
He’s of course the third wheel. After all what do you expect? Every first date with a girl is a sole date with that girl. So, he’s forever the third wheel, or even worse.
A fifth wheel when he comes with two friends and their wives, a pathetic seventh wheel when he comes with three friends and their wives. And he has been a seventh wheel plenty of times, I’ve seen.
Three friends and their wives, and him. That’s hilarious to me. But of course it a private laughing matter. I can’t smirk and snicker for everyone to see.
They’ll wonder why. My team I mean. They’ll wonder what’s so odd about that group of customers. I’m the only one who knows the comedy in it. It’s my private comedy. Ha, ha, ha! Can’t wait to see him come one day as a ninth wheel! That will be so hilarious! Can’t wait for that!
Dates
Looking at all the three dates, yes, the poor fool’s not successful dates, it is obvious he likes the ‘fair’ types. It’s quite obvious. Not the tan mocha. The fair, feminine ladylike types. But he always likes his coffee heavy with mocha! He is usually a double cappuccino, or espresso with a drop of milk type. He likes his coffee dark and strong. Has never ordered a milky latte with extra cream. Has never ordered the white chocolate latte.
And that by the way is a hit with most of our customers! Even Ranbir Kapoor liked it. Yes, I served Ranbir when he and a few others dropped in for a nearly midnight coffee one night when he was here shooting Bombay Velvet. I didn’t recognise him at first glance but since it was just two other customers apart from the four fair Indians who walked in, I took an extra long look at them inconspicuously, because they were such a good looking bunch, and they stuck out from everyone else inside. Since everyone else at that moment was like just two other customers. And then, I realised...it was Ranbir! The really good looking one in the bunch of the four was Ranbir Kapoor! I nearly jumped out of my skin! It was obviously possible that it was him because I knew at that time he was here for the filming of Bombay Velvet. I mean everyone knew that. Oh how I wish I could have taken a photo with him! But of course I couldn’t. I’m staff here. Not a customer. Simply not possible. But he liked the white chocolate latte. He liked it very much. He said so himself, when I went over to ask them by the time their coffees were over if there was anything else I could get them. No, Ranbir didn’t have a second, but he said he liked it very much. Said we had done it quite well. Said ‘you guys have done it well’. Which meant me of course! I made it for him. So yes, even Ranbir Kapoor likes my white chocolate latte. But this creature doesn’t seem to care for it! It happens to be one of my very favourites here too! I recommend it to first time customers if they ask me ‘what’s a good coffee’? It’s among the top three I recommend. But it’s not to his taste obviously. No, he likes his coffee dark and dangerous. Huh! Dark coffee and fair slim girls. That’s his set menu.
At the alcove table. Reserved by me. An extra medium size girl with a complexion close to the colour of the types of coffees he likes. But the dark coffee has to sit on the table lifelessly while he talks charmingly to the white coffee. The whitey white coffee sitting across the table from him. His choice of white chocolate latte. Whitey white extra white chocolate latte! Racist!
[To be continued…]
