Our country is going through a very bad patch as we get close to ushering in the traditional New Year. Uncertainty is all around us, never more so than today. Life is filled with uncertainty and worries about the future. While many things remain outside our control and act like a spectator, your mindset is key to coping with difficult circumstances and confidently within the scope you control facing the known and the unknown.
Whether it concerns a global pandemic and its impact on the local economy, local economic woes or sharp depreciation of your value of money, scarcity of essential goods and their prices now and relationships, much of what lies ahead in life remains uncertain.
Yet as human beings, we crave security. We want to feel safe and have a sense of control over our lives and well-being. Fear and uncertainty can leave us feeling stressed, anxious, and powerless over the direction of our life. It can drain us emotionally and trap us in a downward spiral of endless “what-ifs” and worst-case scenarios about what tomorrow may bring.
When circumstances are out of your control, it’s easy to become overwhelmed by fear and negative emotions. You may think that bottling up how you feel, trying to put on a brave face, or forcing yourself to be positive will provide the best outcome. But denying or suppressing your emotions will only increase stress and anxiety and make you more vulnerable to depression or burnout.
We are all different in how much uncertainty we can cushion or tolerate in life being at varying levels. Some people seem to enjoy taking risks and living unpredictable lives, while others find the randomness of life deeply distressing.
But all of us have a limit. If you feel overwhelmed by uncertainty and worry, it’s important to know that you’re not alone; many of us are in the same boat. It’s also important to realise that no matter how helpless and hopeless you feel, there are steps you can take to better deal with uncontrollable circumstances, alleviate your anxiety, and face the unknown with more confidence – we have no choice but to approach the situation that way. While we may not wish to acknowledge it, uncertainty is a natural and unavoidable part of life.
Unpredictable
Very little about our lives is constant or totally certain, and while we have control over many things, we can’t control everything that happens to us. As the coronavirus pandemic demonstrated, life can change very quickly and very unpredictably. One day things may be fine, the next day you suddenly become sick, lose your job, or find yourself struggling to put food on the table for your family.
To cope with all this uncertainty, many of us use worrying as a tool to predict the future and avoid nasty surprises. Worrying can make it seem you have some control over uncertain circumstances.
You may believe that it will help you find a solution to your problems or prepare you for the worst. Maybe if you merely agonise over a problem long enough, just think through every possibility, or read every opinion online, you will find a solution to control the outcome. Unfortunately, none of this works.
Chronic worrying won’t give you more control over uncontrollable events; it only robs you of enjoyment in the present, saps your energy, and keeps you up at night. But there are healthier ways to cope with uncertainty — and that begins with adjusting your mindset.
Much about life is uncertain at present — and many things remain outside of your control. But while you can’t control all economy related issues, the recovery or whether you will have a pay check next month, you are not totally powerless.
Whatever your fears or personal circumstances, instead of worrying about the uncontrollable, try to refocus your mind on taking action over the aspects that are within your control. By focusing on the aspects of a problem that you can control in this way, you will switch from ineffective worrying and ruminating into active problem-solving. Of course, all circumstances are different and you may find that in some situations all you can control is your attitude and emotional response.
Reducing stress
When you can do nothing else about a situation, you can still actively face up to your emotions — even the most negative and fearful ones. Allowing yourself to experience uncertainty in this way can help to reduce stress, better come to terms with your circumstances, and find a sense of peace as you deal with challenges.
You can challenge the behaviour you have adopted to alleviate the discomfort of uncertainty by asking yourself: How much can you be absolutely certain in life? Does anyone have a job for life, a guarantee of good health, or absolute certainty over what tomorrow will bring? Types of behaviour such as worrying, micromanaging, and procrastinating offer the illusion of having some control over a situation, but what do they change in reality?
The truth is no matter how much you try to plan and prepare for every possible outcome, life will find a way of surprising you.
All striving for certainty really does is fuel worry and anxiety. By challenging your need for certainty, you can begin to let go of negative behaviour, reduce stress and worry, and free up time and energy for more practical purposes.
A lot of uncertainty is self-generated, through excessive worrying or a pessimistic outlook can be generated by external sources, especially at times like this. Reading media stories that focus on worst-case scenarios, spending time on social media amid rumours and half-truths, or simply communicating with anxious friends can all fuel your own fears and uncertainties.
That’s the reason why so many people start panic-buying when bad news breaks — they see others doing it and it feeds their own fears. By recognising your triggers, you can take action to avoid or reduce your exposure to them.
Instead of engaging in futile efforts to gain control over the uncontrollable, let yourself experience the discomfort of uncertainty. Like all emotions, if you allow yourself to feel fear and uncertainty, they will eventually pass. Focus on the present moment and your breathing and allow yourself to simply feel and observe the uncertainty you are experiencing.
Focus on solvable worries, taking action on those aspects of a problem that you can control, or simply go back to what you were doing. When your mind wanders back to worrying or the feelings of uncertainty return, refocus your mind on the present moment and your own breathing. Enjoy the Sinhalese and Tamil New Year with your loved ones – stay positive. Let’s hope that the traditional New Year will bring the unexpected for people’s happiness.