The dilemma of unrequited love | Sunday Observer

The dilemma of unrequited love

16 October, 2022

You might end up in a sea of sorrow over the stigma of unrequited love. Love changes every individual in so many unique ways. It is noticed that the changes that love attributes over the lives of the individuals might result in misery and gloominess.

The feelings can perhaps be cataclysmic for someone who experiences the agony of being involved in an unrequited love; a unilateral relationship.

In his 17th century romantic comedy, ‘Twelfth Night’, William Shakespeare utilizes the unrequited love of Viola in order to highlight how affection and love may become the cause of suffering. The Enlightened One asserted in the Dhammapada “From love there arises grief, from love there arises fear……”.

In all seriousness, unrequited love may last a lifetime. A serious victim may say that it stabs at your heart. It is obviously an astounding surge of emotions pasturing from downright elation, as you discern that the person you love is in love with another.

Human experience

Unrequited love makes you feel that you are not significant to the other party. It is actually a part of human experience. A one-sided love of this caliber is typically more intense than a passing crush and it may predominantly last longer.

Perceiving the sheer dismissal or the brushing-off, once you have wagered confessing someone as to how you feel can give rise to a plenteousness of cramp and affliction. Research indicates that torment identical with rejection gives rise to brain activity that resembles the physical pain caused as well.

According to Prof. Michael Mottey of the University of California, Davis, unrequited lovey-dovey sentiments do not have to capsize friendships. He further remarked that as your erotic and romantic appeal is declared, the result is essentially embarrassment and discomfiture for either partner and that usually leads to the collapse of friendship.

Commenting on their hands on experience on the matter of unrequited love, some college students remarked that deciding whether to declare the passionate attraction towards a friend is supposed to be one of the most consequential and common communication dilemmas, encountered by them, fearing that they would even lose the good company of a very dear friend.

But, in contrast, Prof. Motley shared “Certain behaviors and conditions allow some friends to handle the initial awkwardness, put the episode behind them, and reestablish a mutual friendship”.

Meanwhile, the misery and the low self-esteem that is felt by the loser may be self-torturing, distressing. Sometimes, one-sided love may have some harmful effects on your mental health.

Rose with thorns

Just because of the fact that your love is unrequited, that does not necessarily say that it is not love itself. Undoubtedly, it takes an abundance of strong willpower to acknowledge that you are unilaterally in love with that particular person rather than trying to dismiss it as an infatuation or a silly childish crush.

You have to infer that your unrequited love is just like a beautiful rose that still has thorns in its stem. Even if you confess a tiny crush on someone and find that the love, declared by you is not accepted but painfully shunned, amidst your hard feelings, it has the potential of teaching you the maturity of realizing not to idealize a person, having been inspired merely by a single sheer feeling.

Unrequited love can even be an obsession for which there is no answer on the horizon. The horror of a one sided love is that it would often stab at your self-esteem. The feeling of sheer sense of rejection may be a strong tidal wave that would disturb your peace of mind. It is certainly a path full of rocks and the more you walk along it, the more suffering and fear that you would encounter.

A certain book that I read recently stated that unrequited love is just like a wound that can never be healed but would continue to be hidden and curled in a corner.

Some desires can hardly be quenched and they would continue to burn in your heart. Love in vain is also not a strange phenomenon in this competitive world. You may even define your one sided love as a cursed memory where you are reminded that your love was never valued, returned or never existed in the first place.


Sometimes you may have heard of rather pathetic news that shows that it may even make a person a monster as their love is not reciprocated. For some people, it could perhaps be the loss of a heartbeat, notably as you either hear or look at your beloved very often where you are well convinced that they cannot be yours; it is a regret that can never be redeemed.

Any human being would love to feel that they are significant, and their feelings should be validated and they are made to believe that romance is the epitome of all these things.

As and when you feel that your strongest feelings and efforts produce no reciprocity, in vain but to no avail, you would undoubtedly feel insignificant, marginalized, discriminated or abandoned.

Therefore, if you still doubt that you are weak-hearted and hugely emotional, you should often make sure that you would not end up being immensely shattered that would even force you into a state of depression.

Cesspool of trauma

A certain party, deeply disturbed by unrequited love declared “It is the sedated sway, the angel and devil must go through, the devil gripping the angel with immense force while the angel is tied at the ankle to the devil”.

According to some people, unrequited love is a synonym for a cesspool of trauma, pain, masochistic suffering that is covered under the humiliation. The longer you stay, the harder the awfulness that it would bring out. Terrible fumes would still live on the fire of unrequited love. If you could ever think of its so-called temporary benefits, they would even make you go crazy; it does nothing but siphon your self-esteem.

They may exist at the expense of your emotional health and you may understand that they would rob your happiness and mental solace. It is not only you are there all alone feeling the agony of the one-sided love, but also there are millions of people who are on this round blue rock of humiliation.

Unrequited love is obviously a mistake where you have taken your emotional wellbeing and the untarnished self-esteem for granted to make a worthless stranger the sun and the moon of your universe while knowing for fact that it would never be possible. Never struggle to be the eternal sun on a painful runway on which no flight could safely land.